Comments : Changing With The Weather

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Oh, wow. This piece is amazing. It is hard to understand the 'mood swings' of other people, and I can't understand why this piece have no rates or comments.
    The imagery is awesome from the very beginning "The light shined brighter than it had in weeks,
    But the rain came hard when the sun fell
    down,"---the contrasting lines work really well. Nicely penned.
    "And with the end of candles brings sadness
    Tv shows and old movies still remind me of past nights"--Change brings to bring.
    --The whole piece gives off a sad atmosphere and I only wished you didn't use the word 'sadness' here. I'd rather you used some other adjective, perhaps? You shouldn't give away too much as the imagery is already very vivid, and in my opinion, 'sadness' is quite very plain and over-used for this masterpiece.
    The ending lines: Really well-written. Completes the whole piece. It's like the persona is angry or blaming this person with sudden mood changes, but sadly, we can do nothing about the "changes of the weather" Awesome write. Keep writing :)
    -X