Comments : Transplarent silhouette

  • 12 years ago

    by believeinlove87

    I love this(:

    Seeing all around her
    reaching out, she screams
    but no one can see
    no one can hear her
    -My fav one but its an amazing poem.

    It flowed perfectly. Wanting someone to reach out & hear her, to help her out. To pull her out of the in between and to be able to move on. The pain she feels is felt as you read the poem

    Amazing Job(:
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    I really love this:)

    Crying, screaming, siting beneath a tree
    stuck for eternity
    now a ghost
    never to be seen
    stuck in-between.

    This is my fav stanza:) keep writing:) 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    I'd recommend you to find a different title because this isn't that eye-catching and it's not really original either, I mean it fits to the poem, but the better the title the more people will read it.

    I thought that your first stanza is a good introductory stanza because it paints a vivid image and informs the reader about the protagonists emotional situation, without telling too much. I also like how your poem developes, you tell more and more and keep the suspense till the very end.

    The emotions are quite strong too and I think that this poem is quite well written and flows smoothly.