Comments : Destiny Hears Two Hands Clapping

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Once I believed in my destiny
    to change the world -
    to leave a legacy for my children
    that would keep my memory alive
    throughout the ages.

    ^ I didn't want for this atmosphere to end. This really made my night, as it spoke of reality :)

    ..

    But you made me return to the same atmosphere, with no frustrations... of this life:

    Had you not appeared it was over
    ever it began;
    no more supposing what could be;
    clasping hands, we look back
    on what we truly dared.

    ^ This also drew a :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    Wow magnificent I loved it :) 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    The first stanza of this drew me in straight away; it oozes wistfulness and a hope that maybe was not to be achieved? the opening line "Once I believed in my destiny" highlights this. There is, in this stanza, a wondering from the reader's point of view what happened and how it worked out.

    And then the second stanza seems to sink further into this regret that perhaps you were not to fulfil the destiny you thought was yours. "I found no spark of genius saved me from a work-a-day life". So the tone in the opening two stanzas seems to have gone from wistful to almost melancholy.

    Then the stanza that turns the poem on its head and changes the atmosphere entirely.......it all just might work out yet!
    The euphoric lines "And then you came along....." sunshine bottled in words, lightening the tone and leaving the reader clinging on to the hope that this line offers!
    Lovely imagery employed in this stanza too - highlighting the importance of this person.

    And then the final lovely, honest stanza. If not for her, your destiny was destined to be pulled down about you! But because of her, it wasn't and you fulfilled your dreams.

    What a lovely and inspiring write, Larry; enjoyed immensely.
    All the best,
    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Thanks, Ben

      But, "sunshine bottled in words?"
      you are amazing!