What a journey you took me on, an experience such as I have never known. I was mystified and in awe of the vivid images you penned. I felt as if I too were there and sharing this moment of wonder.
You have a way of creating an escape from life through your wonderful words..thank you for this priceless trip
Hugs my friend
This Sunday morning I finally have time to comment to your new poem! I already read it, but needed to find time, because I want to give you something truly helpful:
Pulsating ripples filled
the puddles of an uneven road...
leaving me to seek refuge;
running away from
myriads of piercing driblets.
Cloudy vision pass the baton
to my instinct, directing me to
the nearest shelter.
This somehow read like a movie. You are confused, trying to make meat out of it all.
Unknowingly I headed through
a runway of crimson lamps;
not letting the already darkened hue
on my clothes smear all over.
Something sinister is trying to get a hold of you, and you are scared....
Upon reaching, strings of
a koto was[were] being strung,
orchestrating a melancholy[melancholic]
symphony, instrumentally stitching
its foreign sound to my ear.
Nice wording in this part," stiching a sound to your ear" is great:)
Quietly I joined [a]other focused audience,
already sat[seated] in the front rows, witnessing
a lady in her cerulean floral kimono
prostrat[ing] towards an ancient idol.
Her red lipstick frown[s][,] [juxtaposed]
against her white painted face,
speaking universally of sadness.
(I wonder if this was part of a play or
a form of a prayer?)
Great imagery here, I could almost see her and her white face..such mysterious creatures, these women:)
Suddenly from the back
came a family of three,
donating crispy green notes;
in a synchronize motion
bowing twice[,] followed by two claps
and ending it with a final bow.
These people have power( money) and the ritual they perform seems eerie to me.
A move which coincides with
the finale of the zen ritual,
Colored palettes with thorny
edge[s] blooms[bloom] out of the air, safely
exiting the small group...
Safely seems the wrong word in this context..."quietly" would fit better?
and there I was, left all alone,
forced to spend time in solitude,
rubbing my cold palms for some warmth.
Ha ha, I could see you there, all confused and not knowing what to do and what to make of it all.
(Wind blows through the hollowed windows
like ninja spirits passing by an empty hall)
Gazing at the simplicity of life;
droplets conjoining one another,
weighing heavier only to dive down to earth,
in which I interpret, conjoint in marriage,
diving into adventure and ends with us[,]
buried underneath the earth;
a positive distraction[,] found in
an unlikely place.
This had a kind of sadness in it, as if life is somehow meaningless and all will die eventually....
I reached for my wallet for some loose change,
letting it slide down the V-shaped slope,
before it join others like him;
as a form of appreciation for keeping me dry.
As I squat at the sheltered
entrance of the Shinto shrine, looking[I look]
over the misty passage way out,
wondering[and wonder] how am I going to
get through the day
I was greeted with a smile from
a man dressed in white kimono, [like]
an angel sent from the heaven above,
without a word handing me
a black umbrella.
So this man gave you some sort of protection against the droplets..
Azzza, to me, this read like you are describing how you finally grew up( found a way to stand tall in spite of the rain)