Hi, Olivia

Not sure if you read my comment on your other poem. Your work is good, but the symbols distract greatly. The easiest way to change them is to scroll to the upper right part of the page and click on the tab on that says 'your poems.' Your poems are then listed with three links below each; click on the 'edit' link. This allows you to delete the symbols, such as â�Â| and replace them with whatever you meant to be there. The site cannot depict many international codes, such as ¿ or the copyright sign. They come out, as you see with additional symbols in front of them.

As to the structure of your poem: you sometimes have an internal rhyme, such as figures & triggers, and lead & head. You might improve the poem by setting the stanzas in similar lengths and incorporate the scheme throughout, or by dispensing with it entirely. Partially rhyming works tend to interrupt the flow because the reader begins to look for them in places they do not occur. Your substance is terrific, although you might flesh out the action of moving the gun from defending you from the unknown to threatening you by your own hand. I find this image to be the most chilling and powerful in the work. I take it as the angst building up so greatly that it seems almost preferable to end it rather than endure.

Personally, I believe moments like this are what create us; persevering in the face of great fear establishes a base so strong that few further experiences could knock you over.

Good work. Don't forget the main forums, you can meet many people there your age and with similar interests.