Comments : Remembered

  • 13 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    This poem has a lot of potential. One thing that will make it more readable is if you push enter where every comma is... Try that and that will help a little bit... you need to make your lines shorter...

    Here's an example using what you wrote.. Please don't use this, but just take this as an example.
    "Remembering all those shared moments,
    where you were the one that treated right,
    the memory of your last "I love you" still so clear,
    you left a deep impression upon my heart.

    Time passes, but my heart still calls your name,
    the feel of you whispers to my very soul,
    I sit so alone, wondering about things,
    will you ever come back to me, for me?"

    I really hope that example helps you out a bit; another tip is don't capitalize the first letter of every word.

    -Heather