Comments : The Boy on the Blue Roof.

  • 12 years ago

    by mandy

    Very nice!
    I particularly liked this line:

    "I stretch my neck further,
    feeling like a foolish giraffe"

    - I felt as though it was very poetic, and corky.

    The only thing I suggest that you work on is to make your form more poetic-like. This read more like a descriptive story.

    Wonderful, 5/5!

    mandy :)