Comments : Remember When

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I love this piece. I mean its amazing. I can relate to it and I am sure anyone older than 15 can too. Great job. I will leave a better comment as soon as I get to a real computer

  • 12 years ago

    by Marino Vilano

    Thank yall very much, more to come soon

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Remember when you were young?
    Loving life and always having fun.
    Always running around with a smile on your face,
    Simply being a child,my oh my how I miss those days.

    Stunning start, and so gripping too. Exactly what readers are looking for!

    When our hardest decision was what crayons to use,
    And we didn't have a care in this world, just cruise.
    It always seemed like the world was ours,
    Playing astronauts going to the moon and stars.

    So much wonderful description and I really love how you take us back to the tiny shoes of being a kid, even if it is just for a brief moment.

    Waking up in the morning to watch cartoons,
    Now we don't think cartoons are cool.
    Going to school an hour early,
    Now we show up an hour tardy.

    This one is a nice comical addition to the tone of the piece and it definatly made me smile.

    Remember when our parents were the best,
    It's sad to see how most take them for granted.
    Life as we once lived and knew it,
    Can change in a flash, just one instant.

    Its kinda hard to believe how views of parents change so quickly and that children's minds are so fickle!

    Remember when drugs were bad,
    As kids we were always tought that.
    Now this world is full of gangs,
    Fighting over money,power, and crack.

    Tought should be taught, I believe. And This one is another sad example of how we all change in thoughts, yet it is still magnificently descriptive.

    Remember when are dreams were big,
    Looking at yourself as future president.
    You were always told don't ever change,
    Not one person ever stays the same.

    This stanza brought back the most memories to me... and I really don't know what to say about it in particular except that it really hits home with me.

    Life that we once knew has come and gone,
    Our childhood is over, now lifes begun.
    Don't forget about where you came,
    Remember your life every day.

    Lifes should have an ' and be life's... I think, well I know, if you are being a grammar person. Though otherwise it is the perfect end to such a magnificent piece.

    I like the subtle rhymes and the immaculate word choice. And I hope you enjoy this comment, and it isn't too long.

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Marino Vilano

    Thanks lol, my grammar is off a bit but I truly appreciate your time to read lt and comment it,

  • 12 years ago

    by Ebony Hope

    I wish I could praise the moonstone reamer comment, it seriously desrves it.

    As for the poem it is excellent and i agree with al thats been said