Thats really a great improve, my friend;)
Keep the great work:)
5/5

Catchy little poem.
You need to put more feeling into your poems. This was very good it just needed a bit more :-) make us believe what you write
Overall good job

I wish I could agree intoto, perhaps, I just shan't debate this.. We create our paths...and make History from there. Good serve, still.

Very true, great poem :)