You have certainly showed a great courage in your writting about what too many fear to even talk about!! God bless you for that!! And as you have faced and survived more agony than most dream about in their nightmarers, I believe you will be led to accomplish amazing feats of strength! I dont know if you belive in God, but I have known others with similar circumferences and He is the reason they are still moving forward!! Either way I commend you!!