Comments : Let Me Show You

  • 12 years ago

    by Heavy

    Please don't ever leave
    If you do I promise to run after you

    Ha ha. I would do the same, it's cute! It's appealing, warm-hearted, sincere and reassuring. Those are all the things a typical girl likes. :P I'm sure the person you wrote this for would love to read this. ^_^ I do know this feeling all too well!

    Good one :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    No one could ever love you better then I can
    Would you take my hand and run away with me?
    love this last part, and the answer is blowing in the wind?

  • 12 years ago

    by Jump from Life

    Oh my goodness this is so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!! Its amazing! <3

  • 12 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    Its a very cute poem

    and it really shows true love because thats what you do if you really love a person.....chase them lol

    nice poem

  • 12 years ago

    by Moonlit Candles

    This was a nice and sweet poem. Liked the way you expressed your emotions here for someone. Nice write. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    I love this poem. I love the idea of lost love coming back and possibly giving you a second chance.

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Lifeless Doll

    Awww how sweet, lovely poem, flawless :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I want to leave some constructive criticism on this piece.

    While the poem shows your love and emotion for this person, it lacks direction...
    First off, the lack of punctuation makes the poem loose its flow...due to us not being able to read the poem in the way you intend.

    and it seems cliche in parts...while it has potential, a couple of changes would do well to direct it

    But a nice intentional piece that gets the message across.

  • 11 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    Its sweet to the ears. Such confidence in declaring you're the best she can have. And such guts to ask her to elope with you. There's this innocence attached to this piece that got me smiling. The message is clear but a little more polish will give it a poetic touch. Keep writing. Cheers! :)

  • 11 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    This is a sweet, direct poem. The simplicity of your words emphasized the importance of your love for this person. I could feel how much you needed this person and want her to give you a chance.

    Good job!

  • 10 years ago

    by elizabeth

    Wow simply beautiful