Comments : SOUL STORM

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    Walking down this empty path
    not knowing what will last.
    With friendships lost
    hard to keep what's left
    if nothings faded already.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Such a sad opening stanza. The idea that your path is empty but there's things that you could still loose which makes it even more sad. To be left with nothing. A very sad image indeed.

    Praying for a positive mind,
    wisdom, strength and knowledge,
    just fighting to keep the sunshine beaming
    as the heavens keep watching.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    I so love this stanza - I love the idea of praying to keep strength. Faith can keep us from spiralling down. I love how you have portrayed that it is the thing that keeps giving you strength.

    Looking for trees
    Looking for flowers
    along these hours
    as the fog overpowers.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    I assume that in this stanza the fog is the part of your life that is not letting the sunshine in. The part that is cloudy and when you can't see straight. I love this metaphor.

    I'll sleep
    the long sleeps
    through the darkened night.
    Now calming to the soul,
    a storms endless fight.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    The last stanza had a more positive feel to it, quite peaceful and tranquil. The idea that the storm is ending at you can finally see that ray of light coming through the clouds.

    Lovely write hun,

    Well done!!!

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    One of my favorite things about your poems is not matter how sad, or heartbreaking you have a positive side. I love that. So many poems drag the reader down and give them no ladder to climb back up

    Excellent girl just awesome

  • 12 years ago

    by Sean

    Good work, :) i know you've got more in ya though! and i don't mean that in a negative way.