Comments : The Haunting

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Liz,

    My first thought here was WOW, and then it hit me, the emotion, reality, the wording was powerful to emote those thoughts from my soul.

    I love the repitition:
    "Taunting, isn't it?"
    and
    "Haunting, isn't it?",
    Questions that are meant to provoke answers but rarely do.

    I loved the wording, simple and effective, shows your talent here, with such little extremities you really got everything out, it was really good Liz.

    Loved it...

  • 10 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh yes!

    Liz- I loved this... how you described the feelings that I get when watching a good horror flick-
    and, you have also taken me back to a few haunting moments In my life....I can go In 3 directions with this piece... and I love it- now my mind Is thinking that your writing about a tragic event.... either way... my eyes have been twisted In a wonderful way... and this poem was a delight to read.... very nice~

  • 10 years ago

    by L

    Those feelings are Taunting me and haunting me whenever I get scare. The descriptions are exactly how it feels. The hairs of the neck and the gusp bumps and the feeling dwelling in our chest, too.

    Well done

    I also agree with Andrea, it feels like an event that has happen to the author and that it's haunting her but she wants to believe that it's just a taunt and not a haunt but sadly it seems like it's not a taunt :(

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    Liz,

    Another great piece by you. I think this piece is really chilling and puts the reader on edge. The atmosphere in the poem is really creepy and it has all the tension on a horror movie.

    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Decayed

    The howling
    sounds that emit
    from the distance
    which seems to be
    getting closer
    with every thump
    of your heart.

    ^ I suggest you make it this way: The howling from a distance seems to get closer with every thump of your heart. (I think this way, the flow wouldn't be killed in this stanza specifically).

    ----
    So let's now dissect your goosebump-ing piece!

    The Haunting

    ^ you know, this what caught my sight first. I mean... such titles with their obscurity can be really magnetizing.

    Taunting, isn't it?

    ^ I like when poets start their poems with questions. They make me yearn madly to continue, and especially that taunting rhymes with haunting, I was allured more.

    Being unaided in
    the darkest hour
    while unknown
    voices screech
    from the walls
    that bleed
    red poison.

    ^ I can sense from the opening that it's about OCD... "unknown voices screech from the walls" .. as if you're saying the voices haunt you. And comparing the poison to being red sets a dense image in my head.. spooky!

    Like nails
    on a blackboard.

    ^ I think this is my favorite part!! but shouldn't the preposition be 'against' instead of 'on'?

    Do you notice
    the dark shadow
    that is hovering
    and slowly making
    its way to your very
    core.

    ^ Again, I really love how questions can send those vibes of being petrified.. I can now walk in your shoes. really love the tension you're trying to build.. with such a style.

    Does the hair
    stick up at the
    back of your neck

    ^ I like this... those are goosebumps! I'm really sucked into this, from head to toe.

    Can you feel
    the goose bumps
    invade your body

    ^ honestly.. I think those three lines do not say anything new.. so I suggest you remove them and just paste the: "as though it was
    a cold winters day." ...after... "with fear"

    You begin
    to doubt
    your own sanity
    and plead that
    what is happening,
    is not real.

    ^ This is my second best stanza! I love the intermixing of the questions method.. and beginning to speak to us!

    But deep down
    you know that
    it is.

    ^ Those words sum up the title: The Haunting..

    Liz, you really nailed this write. Kudos to you..

  • 10 years ago

    by Ronel McCarthy

    Great techniques used-assonance and similes are powerful. This is beautiful ! :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Steven Croat

    "Can you feel
    the goose bumps
    invade your body"

    Yes, I felt it!This is a great poem!
    It's tone is stange and cold ,but magicaly...

    Steven

  • 10 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    I liked how u wrote this poem, and how made the reader just get in to it, and relate to in many different ways:)
    Great poem liz, I love it:)