"As you wish to die
You take your last
Breathe
Asyour eyes start to cry....."
The last lines were my favorite. After everything we go through, most of the time, we just end up taking a deep breath and there's nothing to do but cry..
But 'breathe' should be 'breath'. Change 'as' in the last line to 'and'.

Great write. filled with emotion 5/5 :)

-X

When you feel like giving up
When no one seems to care
When your heart can't take it
Anymore

When your heart is
filled with sorrow
When nothing seems
To heal and there's
No escape from
Tomorrow

^^favorite part of the poem :]
awww so sad :/ you poured your heart out into this poem<3
full of emotion great job from a great writer :]]

5/5

Never give up, a hard thing to do, especially when overwhelmed with emotions and pain.
Sometimes death seems the best way out.
I know how it feels. Very emotional

"When you feel like
Dying
When you feel like
It's not worth trying"
I love these lines totally perfect
and all the poem is so emotional gr8 one 5/5 keep on =)

A very good emotional write! =)

"As you wish to die
You take your last
Breathe
Asyour eyes start to cry....."

a very good ending!.. but breathe should be breath?

i enjoyed reading, you can tell you've put alot of thought and raw emotion into this piece.. kinda reminds me of how i used to write =)

keep it up 5/5 from me! ignoring the while breath/breathe thing =P
*im picky* lol

I thought this was a great poem. Really expressed emotion here.

When your heart is
filled with sorrow
When nothing seems
To heal and there's
No escape from
Tomorrow

^^
This was a great part. Sometimes when were fillled with sorrow it feel like were in a black hole. Like there is no "escape" as you described.

When you feel like
Giving up
And there's nothing left
As you wish to die

You take your last
Breath
As your eyes start to cry.....

^^
I thought this was a great ending. You feeling giving up on everything. Just letting it all go. But you can't. The emotion is so built up that you just can't end things like that. Great job. :)

When your heart is
filled with sorrow
When nothing seems
To heal and there's
No escape from
Tomorrow

I like the last line in this stanza a lot, no escape from tomorrow, that is true and went well with the tone of your poem... it;s definitely sorrowful and deeply penned from within.. its such a sad poem and definitely a sad ending

but good poem :)