Comments : Sense of self; abandoned

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    The sadness here was undescribable, Nana, Here I am reading this amongst another things and I just felt this overhwelming heaviness, like the sun had hid behind the clouds and the moon was hiding too, it was soooo dark, and really mesmerizing to read,
    You can feel the pain immediately, as my eyes were teary from the get go...

    Nana, This piece was beyond amazing, the flow was flawless and the imagery and the wording totally worked well,

    WOW
    Great piece even if drenched in sadness.

    WOW

  • 12 years ago

    by Meme

    One of the best dark ooems I ever read in here. I loved the comparison you had, and how she was and then became. All those different images you painted so vividly on my head.

    This has to be one of my favorite poems by you.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    You know what I love about this piece is it's not just about the moon but you've made it much more than that, and much deeper.

    You are comparing this person to the moon and nature. The first stanza was a great way to start the poem. It is of course usually at night when the moon shines at its brightest though sometimes you can see that during the day anyways. I look at the moon and see something amazing, something beautiful. To say that half of her was the moon and the other half was lost fate made me think that there was a bright and a dark side to this person.

    No coins in her pockets - it makes me think that this person may not have a lot of valuable items - not rich in money or possessions but she does have possessions that are close to heart.

    I love how you have described her eyes being two different types - the image in this is fantastic!

    The next few stanzas saddened e. The idea that you say her face was more like yours (sad) was to say that you were also heartbroken and not with the sunlight. The last stanza was awesome too. I love the way you have ended this poem full of emotions!

    I love this poem completely. I love the metaphors and images, I always love your writes they are amazing!!!

    Awesome poem hun!!!

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Then and now, well done

  • 12 years ago

    by Misfit Silentts

    Wow. This is amazing. When I read it, I truly fell into it.
    The beginning kind of hints at a sad happiness, yet she has whoever "he" is there for her. But then it with the end it brings the misery and hopelessness, saying that there is no one there for her.

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Really heart-felt piece. My hands are actually sweating! I truly admire your play on words. Simply mesmerizing..