Comments : My sweet pathetic soul.

  • 12 years ago

    by Max

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
    This is Incredible,fancy,fantastic
    I love it , the emotion is so amazing so as the flow
    5/5 deserve it keep on =)

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I love this piece!!
    "Life is to short, and we are almost dead."
    to--too
    It really felt like you were saying this in front of me, and I can feel that 'little bit of you transferring to me'. I like the repetition of 'sweet pathetic soul', It felt like the first one didn't really bite, but when I came across the second one, I really felt its importance. Plus, the subtle rhymes worked really well.
    -X

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    I'll start by saying that I love the title
    "My sweet pathetic soul"

    It left me thinking and I found it catchy.

    Read my words, let them flow free.
    Transferring a little bit of me into you.
    See the true light eclipsed by shadows,
    Embrace my harmless insanity...
    My sweet pathetic soul.

    ---- I like the way the author started this piece because it's nice way of saying pay attention and simply read and that's what I did with this piece. I also liked it when says that it will transfer a little of her in me, and I found that as a challenge so it incited me to continue reading just to see if that was true.
    I'm still trying to understand the third sentence "see the true light eclipsed by shadows" and the way I understood it is like this is about losing someone special because eclipse in a figurative way which means a loss of a significant, so that's why I feel that that's how sad the author most be feeling that it's seeking or trying to find solace within this piece or by trying to portray her feelings to the reader.

    Acknowledge my small brave heart.
    For it's conviction, being strong from the start.
    A long time it has fought this battle,
    Can not remember where it began...
    Will it ever end?

    ---- I like that it's vague and that it doesn't state what type of battle the author has been fighting. So that keeps feeding my curiosity and I want to find out what is this battle about rather what is this piece about and why is it call "my sweet pathetic soul." I enjoyed the question will it ever end, I'm not sure because I'm not certain what the battle is about so those are some of the questions that I have in mind and therefore they are inciting me to continue reading in order to find my answers.

    Oh do not fret for me, my Friend.
    Life is to short, and we are almost dead.
    Forget the pain, dance with me instead.
    The sweet melody, of lesser sanity plays...
    Some what easing...my sweet pathetic soul.

    --- and the battle that I think the author is fighting is an illness or a disease perhaps? and so the author is saying to her friend or the reader to not worry, just forget the pain and dance and enjoy the remainder of life because everyone will die at some point in time. I mean it's true that's the only certain thing about life that we will have to die some day. I enjoyed the message that one should simply try to forget or deal with the pain and relax to try to enjoy our life.

    Well written.

  • 12 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    Whoa. I love this poem. I love the way you delivered the words and the imagery, gave perfect flows to the whole piece. The solidity and symmetry of the words create more sparks and give vividness into your work. I like to read it again and again, coz this is full of sense...full of lessons to learned. I really love this poem...so much. Keep it up always, Jenn. Keep writing:))
    5/5
    ~C

  • 12 years ago

    by Thomas

    5/5

    this poem captures how some relationships feel like.

    Transferring a little bit of me into you.
    ==> That is my favorite part

  • 12 years ago

    by East Poetry

    Oh do not fret for me, my Friend.
    Life is too short, and we are almost dead.
    Forget the pain, dance with me instead.
    The sweet melody, of lesser sanity plays...
    Some what easing...my sweet pathetic soul.

    What a great ending to a poem,

    "Life is too short, and we are almost dead.
    Forget the pain, dance with me instead."

    when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
    that's what I got from that line.

    really enjoyed this poem.
    you are a better poet then most!