This was a really great read. I particularly liked the beginning and ending lines. The rhymes were good, but the flow was off in some places..
"he appears to be happy
but nobody knows he ain't"--I like the message here, but I didn't really like the use of 'ain't' I'd rather it was 'isn't'
"when he goes home
and takes off his face"--takes off his face? honestly made me laugh. But I get what you were aiming for^^
"hes just the joker" hes--he's
"his life is to dark" to--too
"he needs to take a walk in the park
to try and think
think about who you are"--the change of subject (talking about a third person to a second person) kind of caught me off guard.
"is all ready broken"all ready--already
"you cant even start"cant--can't
Overall, a really good piece, just some editing.. I found this very inspirational, actually, if not a bit sad. There is a clown in all of us.. Great job. Keep writing :)
5/5
-X