Comments : Always on my mind

  • 12 years ago

    by Rihanna

    I try mot to think of her
    She always comes back
    I don't want to like her
    But I cant keep her away

    Mot= change it to not

    It's hard to stop thinking of the one you truly love and no matter what they will always be there and you just can't stop them and keep them of your mind

    She's always on my mind
    I don't think I'm noticed
    The more I try keeping her out
    The more I end up letting her in

    Second line of the stanza change "I'm" to I've it flows better and makes more sense other then that love it!

    I don't want to like her
    But I'm always thinking of her
    We started off as friends
    But now I want to be more

    ^^
    Can so relate. first friends then feelings start to grow everyday and wanting to be more

    I try not to bring her to mind
    But she always finds a way in
    I try to get her out
    But I still want her to stay

    Second line of this stanza maybe change it to

    "but she always finds away in"

    Change it to " but she's always finding a way back into my heart"
    Just In my opinion its

    All in all beautiful poem darl
    Loved how you expressed your feelings for her and wanting to keep away but just can't!

    5/5 great write