Beautiful piece, sir. The rhymes were unforced and it went so smoothly. I have to say, I'm inspired to write rhymed poetry again. The message of course, made this piece for me. I'm really sorry for your loss. I know how it feels like to lose someone in one's family and you did not know them very well because you haven't spent a lot of time with them or time didn't give you a chance. I remember my grandfather with this piece. Thanks so much for writing and sharing this with us here.
Also, I just want to mention that I truly admire and appreciate that you take into consideration even the smallest details. The punctuation was flawless, I love correct punctuation. And the capitalisation, delicate phrasing--all so perfect in my humble opinion. Five.
Can't wait to read more. Keep writing
10 years ago
This piece has moved me, I love the part where it says that God takes with him just the best. I enjoyed the rhymes because they feel where they belong. I felt the sadness but also the relief going through this piece. There was sadness because your brother who rest in peace is no longer on earth, however, there was relief because the pain was taken away.
(I'm sorry for your lost), this one was a heartfelt piece. Please, continue writing.