Very emotional , sad and deep poem 5/5

This is an interesting and creative write. The shifting of narrators wasn't distracting at all, and it still flowed really well. It's an enjoyable piece to read, so thank you for telling me to read this. As for the rhymes, the were clean, so I like that.
The story-telling pace this piece took stripped away emotions, but it worked, so I'm not criticising you for that. Hm,

'I slid towards the stairs
now holding my breath.
If dad sees me this drunk
God forgive him for my death.'

As for this part you mentioned, I assure you the flow was good. However, the 'clarity' was what made this part seem lacking. It's nonsensical in a way. I can understand that it is hard to rhyme whilst making the flow good and keeping on track with the 'story' (that's why I stopped rhyming for a while lol)
Overall, it's an awesome piece. It just seems a little 'overworked'. A little revision would do. Keep writing!
-X