Comments : Hello

  • 7 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Awesome job Peter. Yeah I had these phonecalls, I remember them well
    I like how you ended it Hello?

  • 7 years ago

    by average thoughts

    Awesum one peter..dis one is unique, creative..

  • 7 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A heart touching poem :) Love your style of writing and how you penned it Peter. It went with the poem I think. Reminded me of the Lionel Ritchie song too which I love.." Hello" :))

    Love your writing!

    Keep penning ;)

  • 7 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    Heart felt write England :) I liked the style you wrote this in..nice but oh so sad.

  • 7 years ago

    by Alanis

    Heart felt piece with amazing Emotion. Keep writing!

  • 7 years ago

    by L

    This is so sad, but I have to agree that this was really creative, I love the rhymes and the flow of this piece. When I was reading the imges were forming on my mind and at the end hello?... She hung up. That was sad. 5/5

  • 7 years ago

    by retha

    Outch the little spider said, sad the last attemp before i realized oops he was dead.

    • 7 years ago

      by PETER EDWARDS

      Thanks Retha for your 'spider' comment!

  • 7 years ago

    by Georgia

    Oh wow... This is amazing. Sad and so beautiful. I really like this. Excellent ! 5/5 !!

  • 7 years ago

    by Randy East

    Sweet... a true Poet that knows how to rhyme, I can tell already that i will like your poems.
    This poem is down right heart breaking, I am so sorry that this happened to you. All I can suggest is to look for new fish in the sea. I was in this same state at one time too. I wrote a poem called
    "A fish that fight the reel". I being the fish (Pisces).
    this poem did great both in flow and rhyme. Combining that with a heart wrenching story make it a master piece. Great work.

  • 7 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    The dots were a distraction, but I understand you needed to make a format to make clear it is a conversation.

    Very sad tale, I dislike when people humiliate themselves by begging, maybe because it is something that I have done at times as well. It never worked, quite the opposite, actually;)

    Well done,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 7 years ago

    by Janis

    Really great poem, rhyming so well and brings such a clear sad and lonely and so well known message, just really... love it! I wish you all the best and take care there and keep on writing since you are great at it!

  • 7 years ago

    by Darren

    Great ending Peter, I liked how the stuttering pace worked for this and really set the tone.
    The layout is very brave.
    What you have done well is the rhyming (which we would expect from you) but more importantly you can almost hear a returning conversation.
    You can also feel the raw emotion, the disappointment in your voice as it almost stammers.
    Reading again What I actually liked best was the clever use of the question mark at the very start after 'hello'
    this really set the tone for the whole poem.
    Great Job.

  • 3 years ago

    by Em

    Peter, I really shouldn't have read this right now lol it had me in bits. The pace, the stuttering of the lines, the pauses , the flow.. All just WOW!!

    Take care,
    Em

  • 2 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    This is the most heart ripping piece I have come upon so far, and my, my heart is literally crumpled and my eyes are warm with some tears. Peter, okay, now I really believe romance is in your bones...It will take me hours to recover from this piece! Huhuhu. This is epic.