Heart felt piece with amazing Emotion. Keep writing!
8 years ago
This is so sad, but I have to agree that this was really creative, I love the rhymes and the flow of this piece. When I was reading the imges were forming on my mind and at the end hello?... She hung up. That was sad. 5/5
Sweet... a true Poet that knows how to rhyme, I can tell already that i will like your poems.
This poem is down right heart breaking, I am so sorry that this happened to you. All I can suggest is to look for new fish in the sea. I was in this same state at one time too. I wrote a poem called
"A fish that fight the reel". I being the fish (Pisces).
this poem did great both in flow and rhyme. Combining that with a heart wrenching story make it a master piece. Great work.
Really great poem, rhyming so well and brings such a clear sad and lonely and so well known message, just really... love it! I wish you all the best and take care there and keep on writing since you are great at it!
8 years ago
Great ending Peter, I liked how the stuttering pace worked for this and really set the tone.
The layout is very brave.
What you have done well is the rhyming (which we would expect from you) but more importantly you can almost hear a returning conversation.
You can also feel the raw emotion, the disappointment in your voice as it almost stammers.
Reading again What I actually liked best was the clever use of the question mark at the very start after 'hello'
this really set the tone for the whole poem.
4 years ago
Peter, I really shouldn't have read this right now lol it had me in bits. The pace, the stuttering of the lines, the pauses , the flow.. All just WOW!!
This is the most heart ripping piece I have come upon so far, and my, my heart is literally crumpled and my eyes are warm with some tears. Peter, okay, now I really believe romance is in your bones...It will take me hours to recover from this piece! Huhuhu. This is epic.