Comments : A better me

  • 8 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    Do you know what I love about poetry, is that it let you everything that i bothering you and thats a good thing and I do see that in this poem, you conveyed your message very deeply. . i love its emotion. . this is a great poem nice job writing it :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    My heart breaks and no ones there,
    Its like i dont exsist at all,
    I know these lines weren't meant to flow together, but they are the most powerful, loud lines in this piece. The emotion just flows into every word, my heart aches for the girl in this poem/you. It's written wonderfully. Just some flaws in grammar and punctuation.

    Everyone thinks I'm going insane,
    But it's the same annoying shit everyday,
    Laughter meant for only me,
    But a room full of people is what I see.

    I've lived in strife but no one cares,
    My heart breaks and no one's there,
    Its like I don't exsist at all.
    If only I could catch my fall.

    My life so dull and full of pain,
    I wanted to give up, then in you came,
    You walked in my life and stopped the rain.
    Just when I thought I had nothing to gain.

    Since an angel like you has changed my life,
    My feelings of darkness finally disappear,
    I no longer question why I'm here,
    For God has finally answered my prayers.

    Now that you're here, I can't imagine a life without you,
    You've made me realize what it means to be happy,
    I hope I'm all you'll ever need,
    For everything you've done has made me a better me.

    ^^Just showing you the corrected errors. :) But really loud, powerful piece, dear. You're a great writer. I'll be reading more. Love your stuff!