Comments : Lost At Sea

  • 10 years ago

    by Boy

    Strong personification. and images.. deep thoughts... good one

  • 10 years ago

    by Bobby

    You stare into an empty waste land
    knowing the ocean is just past the yellow harvest grass.
    You sit staring into nothing, picturing what's there.

    thoughts thoughts come to mind for me as they can be an enemy to our dreams at times

  • 10 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Typos: first stanza, second line, 'Piercis' is supposed to be 'pierces.' Same stanza, third line, 'nife' is supposed to be 'knife.' Fourth stanza, first line 'waste land' is supposed to be 'wasteland.' However, it is totally up to you to change this, I am just trying to help out :]

    This is a beautiful poem. I love the imagery - I can just imagine what is happening here.

    "The night sky is black
    with a dark, black purple.

    There are no diamonds,
    there is no moon
    to shine the path for the sea."

    ^ I can just imagine where the sky is pitch black with no stars at all due to the clouds that have a tendency to cover them. Beautiful imagery right here.

    "The lighthouse beside you
    shine the path for boats lost at sea."

    ^ This is also one of my favorite parts because I can also imagine this as well. The light of the the lighthouse moving back and forth so that the sailors can find their way home if they are lost. Another beautiful piece

    Overall excellent poem besides those minor errors.