These lines, the tenth pair,

'I needed you then more than I ever did
But I was scared you would leave me forever.'

Don't exactly rhyme together. The threw off the flow of the poem, however I don't know if you did this on purpose, or if you just could not find any rhyming words.

35th line, 'I done everything he wanted for one whole week' - 'done' is supposed to be 'did' because it is the past tense of 'do'

50th line, 'The things the mosters do to me.'- 'mosters' is supposed to be 'monsters.' I would change the second 'the' to 'those' because it makes them (the monsters) sound more terrible.

65th line, you have a contraction - cant.

Wow, this is very, very sad story. I like the idea that you used - a sick man made the girl think that he caused her grandma to die - it made the man sound like a devil. I don't know if he did, but it sounded like she had cancer. I can only imagine the guilt that the little girl would feel.

I love reading your work, because you write so well. Out of all the poems that I have read, each is a different story. The rhyming is also spectacular, but there are very few that have little mistakes.

I have no idea what you would put for the title...maybe something like, 'I'm so sorry.' I am not very good with titles... :S

Excellent
5/5

You did a amazing job with this! It's so sad but it's so beautiful written.
You should think a title by yourself though.

Wow...that is so heartbreaking.
I am in awe and I seriously hope it's nothing personal and just a story. It is terrible that the man made the girl think that her touch caused the death of her grandmother. :(

I noticed you fixed the small errors Purple Rose pointed out, it did make everything flow better. The only thing I would like to point out is some punctuation. I think you should add some commas every other line since you seem to put it as a sentence every two lines. For example:

"I couldn't write this before you died,
but believe me when I say I tried.
So I'm sitting here now with my paper and pen,
writing this like I should have back then."

To me having every line capitalized distracts me and I think it's a new sentence being formed when it's not. So, I think it would sound better with the commas, it lets the reader know when to pause and helps flow better. However, if you like how it is, then leave it be... just my opinion.

As for a title... hmmm... since you said in the beginning you were writing her a letter since you didn't get to... maybe "Never Too Late" ... or "A Letter to Heaven" .. "My Letter to Gran" .. only a few, I wish I could come up with something else but that's all I got for now, lol.

Overall, this is a fantastic piece! :)

Lovely this poem is entirely and utterly heartbreaking. I really don't know what to say but this piece has moved me completely.

My eyes were swelling up reading this and I felt like crying. I really hope this did not happen to you for it should not happen to anyone. If it was I am completely sorry.

Though I must have to say that this poem makes me think of ocd in a way, there's a connection that I can feel.

For me if I don't do the right things with my ocd, the rituals the right way, I feel like something bad will happen. I can see why this person may end up having OCD, especially when they were always taught that something they did would cause someone to die. That is one of my fears with OCD. That someone will die, something bad will happen. You did an amazing job with this piece but I am so sorry if it is something that you have experienced yourself, or even someone else.

Awesome write

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