Comments : Im sorry..

  • 13 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This is a really touching piece of poetry that really shows the pain of having someone you love walk away from you. You have penned the emotion well, however you could improve this poem by giving it some corrections in the grammer. This will give it more justice and give it a higer rating.

    Its been months and you dont see..
    - It's, don't

    All the pain when you left me..

    I sit and cry every nite..

    Your gone for good i know im rite..
    - I, I'm right

    You just got up and walked away..

    I still cant forget that very day..
    - can't

    You turned around and said were through..
    - we're, this reads as a different word without the apostrophe.

    And then you wispered "i love you"..
    - I

    And then i turned and you were gone..
    - I

    I then realized that i was wrong..
    - I

    I know i used 2 alway lie..
    - I , 2 = to, you are not referring to the number here. alway = always

    I hate to see you always cry..

    I say "im sorry" and it is true..
    - I'm

    I want you 2 know "i still love you"..
    - 2 = to. I.

    If you fix these, it will read so much better and look better as a poem. It is a good poem and holds a lot of emotion so you should give it the justice it deserves :)

    Well done.