A lovely love poem. The wording are finely picked to set such a sweet atmosphere to the whole piece.

Nicely penned!

All right, now the rhymes within this piece are better than in the other one. Rhymes in my opinion doesn't have to follow a particular pattern, but it will be good for each stanza to have some sort of it, that is if your focus are rhymes.. so that it adds melody to the piece.

I did feel that this piece had some melody, and some tender tone through it. Which made it feel sweet. I like it.

Beautiful.... !!!
This is enticing and speaks about two lovers deeply in love... Lovely and blissful
Excellent piece:)

The rhyming scheme was very pleasant, and in general it flowed very well. the poem itself was fairly sweet as well. i think adorable would be the best adjective to describe the feeling of this piece, and i feel like whoever you wrote it for (if anyone) probably swooned, at least a little. well written.