I think you could make improvements to this..the format doesn't really work for me..maybe you could make it more uhm organized?..there are also some typo's like in these lines:

'To weak to breath'
'Time has come an past'

~~i think that should be 'too weak' and 'an' should be changed to 'and'

also I feel kind of lost in this part:

'I feel the tears come; Time has come an past'

~~this works but maybe you should rephrase it..it feels kind of off

I like the ending

just some thoughts...