Sara, Well done in the contest :)

I loved this piece, it told a story, it was creative and flowed really well, it was imaginative yet I felt you related to the topic, you added your own touch to it and that stood out in the way it was worded.

There were some lovely images portrayed, while it felt sad it was comforting and warm...

Really amazing poetry, :)
x

Wow, so dark and atmospheric. It made me miss home and I am sitting in it!!!

I love stanza 3, it slows the pace down and you really emphasize with the character at this point.

I feel everyone on here could relate to this, sometimes we take home for granted, our family for granted. This poem is a great reminder to appreciate the simple things.

I also love how in the last stanza your character knows that this experience is going to change them, they will never be the same person again.

great write

Honestly, before I finished reading I started this comment due to that opening stanza...LOVED IT!

I must say it was a great poem. A good length and a brilliant flow. Oh, but that imagery was what I enjoyed most about this poem. I had that feeling of being in the "action". Impressive poem

The way you told the story is outstanding! And the metaphors were just spot on. You write with a lot of spemotion and passion, and you just take the reader in a journey with you through all the things you went through.

Perfect hon :)

I dunno what to say, the words you poured in this piece, are so heartfelt

I dig up the dried pen from my pocket,
and scribble the only word I can think of:
h o m e ...
it is the only place I wish I could be.
^^^^
I love love love love this, I felt how the hard it is just thinking of your home, and family.

The last stanza left me speechless, I felt that you gave up, you know that you cant even wish for returning. Great job..

My judging comment:
Loneliness and despair seeps out of this work like pus from a painful wound. "Even the moon is on vacation" leaving the speaker not-home alone. The use of "tenebrous shadows" stopped me cold, since I had to look it up; although it fits, I doubt if the vast majority of readers would know it. The nostalgia factor is in abundance, with that twinge of hopelessness that goes with it: thinking of her "treasured memories ... was as painful as slitting my two wrists." I had a little trouble with "my existence is evanescent" simply because I have always felt that word to be lighthearted. Overall the poem fully meets the criteria.

Sarah.. I'm so sorry :P

hehe.. I didn't know you posted this. I thought you want.

Okay.. seriously, I was talking to a judge when the contest finished, and I said... I never knew Sarah has such skills... I don't mean anything bad... but I thought that your writes are only for princesses, meaning romantic and stuff...

but in the contest, YOU HIT ME LIKE A BOMB...... I LIKED SO MUCH the 4 poems that you wrote. And this piece.... is AWESOME.