Different in an old english story telling kind of way. I think:

Thou displeasing.

^^should maybe be thee displeasing.

Enjoyed.

This is the first time i have read your poetry....the old english pulled me in, i have written a few an i love the way the language flows in pieces like this :-)0

you threw out some amazing imagery here it is n awesome write...i do hve two suggestion...thats all they are you could change the "your" into a thee and where you have written "have" you could change to "hath" i know its just nit - picking but i know how easy it is to mingle the two text - modern and old together....any way like i say just a suggestion :-)

Great write and i loved it 5/5

Great poem, love the use of the old english language, I was about to suggest two nits when I read that Naughty mouse has already pointed out.

Love the flow and shape of this.
great piece

Thank you for the comments and pointers guys! :D

Aww i loved it! brilliantly written with a great flow!

the first stanza was my favourite, it really drew me in. it has so much emotion!

and i loved the use of old english.

well done :)

5/5