This is lovely. Feelings of uncertainties are always around us but learning to move on, without paving way for that, to get us stuck is a leap forward in our actions. Its a journey of self-discovery and getting answers to mysterious questions that has knows no bounds. Its every girls journey. We all feel this way at a point in our lives. A reflection of regret, shame, dreams, goals, needs and trying to get it all together in order. Thus, accepting this new character that is consuming one. Great piece, :-) ..
I taste these words like poison,
^^WOW! Great opening! Really sets the scene/mood of the piece.
Injected in my veins. No longer
^^Remove the capital from 'injected' it's unnecessary and kind of throws of the reader and is a continuation from the first line anyhow. Good vocab.
Can I stand to look at my cowardly
^^Again the first capital is unnecessary
Reflection. Such hate makes my
Blood boil. This girl is anew. No
^^ I don't think it needs to be 'anew' I think 'new' will be fine in itself.
Longer do I recognise her. That
Evil smile pursed on here adoring
Lips. Her eyes are flames of pleasure
^^ Vivid imager here. Good work!
As if she was pulled out of hell not
A minute too soon. Her hair as black
As the night and her skin as soft as
Silk. Who is she? A temptress?
^^Again the imagery is fantastic - especially here, you have described everything in detail but not too much as to clutter the poem.
A demon? No, she is my reflection.
^^A powerful ending. Love it.
A good powerful piece. I loved the emotion that dripped from each line. Just watch your capitals at the beginning - I'm only learning this for myself - but it can be disorientating for the at times and in this case, that is so.
Other than that a great dark piece. In such a short piece, there was multitudes of emotion and I really liked that. You wrote from your heart, and bared everything for all.
This is beautiful. i love the way the poem in general was smaller but, you had alot of emotion in the words xD I love it. beautifully written <3
7 years ago
This is a very powerful poem you have written here. All the decribing words and phrases you use work well. I think the idea of a mirror reflection is an easy idea but difficult to not be cliche. This is one of the better mirrorpoems I have read. I love how the whole poem is looking at what you think you see inside of yourself. It is hard to write about one certain thing. The new peperson inside you is dark and thats why you don't know who she is. I think we all think like that when we see ourselves change. I love how you describe hell too. You have been pulled out of hell and not a moment too soon. I think you sell yourself short though. I think everyone is beautiful in their own way though. But I understand the strong message. 5/5