Comments : Goodnight

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    *tear* poems about death get to me. I hate the pain people have to go through after it, just heartbreaking to read really.

    Loved the use of cupids perfect lullaby.

    Also, I loved the lines about forgetting that person is gone when you're thinking of them. Anyone whose experienced loss knows what that feels like and its a pretty touching stanza.

    Lovely write.

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I remember cuddles underneath
    the crystal moon while the stars
    twinkled in the beauty of your
    sapphire eyes.

    - Wow... now that is a great start to a poem if there ever was one! This imagery here is just so peaceful and romantic and I wish I was there! The description of the sky is so clear and detailed. Well done.

    Just the memory of those days
    make me hold my head from
    the pain that will never be erased
    from my mind.

    - I like how the first stanza starts off the happy story and in this one it begins to turn into a sad peice, expressing a loss of this person.

    I remember your voice and how
    one word,would make my
    heart melt to the sound of
    cupids perfect lullaby.

    - I relate to this so much, we can never forget their voices and the way they could make us feel.

    Every morning I'm haunted
    by your enchanting smile,
    cause for that minuet my mind
    forgets your gone.

    - minute*
    - this verse really hit me hard, I do this with my fiance who died, just every so often if I have had a dream about him I wake up to think he is there, and it turns out I have to face reality. You have worded this part very strongly.

    I'd give up my life to hold you close
    but my arms will never reach
    stay high in clouds and watch over us.

    Goodnight beautiful.

    - "but my arms will never reach" - yep, thats your tear jerking line from this poem. Such a sad thought and it just catches my heart.

    This poem was just so deep and I could relate to every word, it is worthy of nomination from me. I adore it.

    xx

  • 11 years ago

    by AngelDust

    Although sad, this is beautiful. It's amazing how the most hurt feelings can make us write such words. I could see that the dear one that you lost meant the world to you. I myself have bee. Stuck in limbo for so long over a loss. There's a barrier I just won't allow myself to cross. I hope writing is helping you towards healing. A heart breaking piece.

    Danika.

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    Nit out of the way first

    stanza 4 last line 'your' should be 'you're'

    Ok, this was very sad and has such a huge depth of emotion in this, it is difficult to read without feeling a bit down

    yet you show great strength to put this out there, great write.

  • 11 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Aww... this is such a heartbreaking yet romantic poem.

    The simplicity of your words were refreshing, and your imagery was lovely.

    I love how you described her eyes as 'sapphire' it's my birthstone so I love sapphire! I imagined a beautiful girl that you love or loved very much.

    I like the cupid's lullaby part.. I feel it would be really mellow and nice to hear.

    Great poem!

  • 11 years ago

    by losing myself

    I loved reading this poem, the first stanza caught mystifying right away. (:

  • 11 years ago

    by average thoughts

    Strong piece..

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    This piece is beautiful, it leaves such an impact and the simplicity really helps make the piece even more stunning. I love the way you wrote this so that it oozes sorrow and the pain of missing someone without making it so unbearable that the piece is ruined or tainted. Great job with your imagery and vivid creation of each memory.

    I really love this piece.

    Amazing write.

  • 9 years ago

    by kitten

    So much has already been said about this piece so I will simply let it be known that I usually hate reading pieces in the sad category, but my friend urged me to read this one, and she was right, it is gorgeously penned.