For your first attempt this is really good I did think that parts seemed forced but apart from that it was well written I do think it lacked power but I think that's good me

Great write

I think it is a good poem, a great job on a first try. I couldn't have done it any better. I love the repetition of the summer rain and sorrowful pain it really makes the poem what it is. The heart of the poem is real strong too, I didn't think it was too forced but I may be wrong..?

"Time floats endlessly in the mindless terrain,
embracing you closely,
beneath the coolness of the summer rain."

^ That is my favorite part of the poem it is really elegantly pieced together and so full of love and desire.

Beautiful if you ask me and one of my favorites.
5/5

A Villanelle is difficult to write, for your first try I'd say you nailed it... The rhyme scheme is very nice, being a nature piece you touched all the aspects of beauty that nature has to offer, even bringing the human touch of nature is as well... very elegant piece here by you Andrew!