Comments : Caustic Wit

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    Wow, what great imagery.

    love the foot stool part.

    every word really punches, it is like you wrote a longer poem then cut it right back to the bone, leaving only those words that matter.

    great

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I love this! The ending here is just amazing, I love it!

    My heart

    filleted by your

    caustic wit is laid bare

    to the bone.

    - firstly I want to say thank you for adding to my knowledge as I had to look up the word caustic here, and when I did this image became much more powerful and I could sense the tone of the poem after this.

    The bleeding wounds

    cauterized by your

    mocking laughter

    still seep

    with every beat.

    - again a great word choice here which I had to look up! This short statement holds so much in it, because the wounds are bleeding it is showing this is fresh and not a past experience. And the damage has been done more by words than actions which makes me get a good idea of the things this person says.

    My self-image

    sliced off by your

    cutting remarks

    lies in piles

    beneath you,

    creating a foot

    stool for you to stand on

    so you can see

    whatever it is

    that is so much

    more important

    than me.

    - now this part I adore! I envy you for coming up with this, it is amazing. Not only have you made a strong message to this person you have worded it in a very unique way. Your self image being shattered all about his feet, then you get the image of him just standing all over it like it means nothing to him, but the way you word it ( which I love ) is that you have given him that stepping stool! Love love love it. And to add to it, the part about you not being as important as whatever else it is, adds to the sadness in this piece about why you have no self worth or confidence.

    Amazing write, I love it :)