Ohhh, Dawn. Have I told you that I love your poetry, and your words scream absolute beauty to me?

I was telling Mel about this poem last night and told her that I feel you have a very similar style to hers (Mel is my favorite poet so that's a big compliment in my eyes, haha!). Your have a similar structure and you have similar symbolism without feeling "copycat", you definitely have a style and structure all of your own and it is absolutely fantastic.

Your first stanza truly has me so drawn in.. the descriptive nature of this piece is probably my favorite. You drew me in by making me feel like I'm standing here, watching it, or maybe reliving a memory. It's so precise.

Probably unintentional, but this line "Stones encased the broken place I had come to call" has a subtle internal rhyme and I thought it was the perfect spot for it. It really gave the perfect flow.

The last stanza brings the perfect ending to your poem. I feel this is one of the strongest I have read from you, not only with the beauty I read but the message. I think this is something a lot of people can relate, the loneliness, the "do it on you own", the feeling that you've found company in misery perhaps but they left, too, or you left to go shoulder the world. I may have it totally wrong but these are just some thoughts the poem gave me. I can't wait for tomorrow so I can nominate this. :)

I am glad I came across this touching write you have penned here Dawn.

I felt I was watching this poem unfold from the sidelines and felt a twinge of pain deep within me. A foregone feeling of my own resurfacing, perhaps.

Those
days, I didn't know what friendship truly meant other than a deal;
I will give if you return.
^^^
I love these lines for their innocence. It brought me back to my younger days when friendships were broken - yet mended by noon.

I am going to take a stab at giving my interpretation of this write. Perhaps my own emotions are setting this write in a different direction. But I hope not .. lol

I feel this write is about a child who is lonely and in pain and creates an invisible friend (Amy)

There are a few parts that lead me to think this

Stones encased the broken place I had come to call
home, I no longer felt safe in the stark white walls of suggested
"safety".
^^
This part shows me a lonely scared child. And for some reason the "stones" and "melody" brought to mind the verse "sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me"

And lonely children sometimes create an invisible friend. One they can chase and such and never be hurt by words.

The ending gave me a feeling that the writer had overcome the loneliness and gained strength. Yet still grieved the loss of her imaginary friend, a safety net from the outside world.

Perhaps I am sooo way off on this that it may cause you to giggle ... lol
But I feel much more depth in this write than what the eye can see.

Truly a wonderful read that I will come back to visit often.

*Also very interested in knowing the true meaning behind this write. *

Wow, this is totally stunning and breathtaking.
Very deep and full of such power and pain, such emotion and absolute beauty.
You have an amazing way of putting together feelings and thoughts in a poem, this was so real and so deep, drew me in from the first line and just kept wanting to read more, you really know how to bring the reader in. excellent job.
5/5

Retracing steps from gray, cracked concrete to burnt grass,
^The beginning here makes me think of the end of fall or beginning of winter and how the grass is dead & everything looks dull. The trees no longer have their leaves, etc. I have never heard of grass described as burnt, I absolutely loved that! Also I love the word scrawled, beautiful word. Its so poetic.

I didn't know what friendship truly meant other than a deal; I will give if you return.
^This is truly awesome. I never really thought of friendship like this but youre absolutely right, one can only form if both comprimise.

Yet I was the raindrop in itself, she was the eye.
^Such a powerful line ahh so beautiful!

Definitely a sad poem, I love how you portrayed you thoughts, very powerful. Beautifully worded.