Comments : Requiem for a Memory

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Okay, lets see if I understood correctly

    This story took place during a war... This is narrated by one soldier (first person point of view).

    The soldiers were waiting to be call for duty, I think. Meanwhile while waiting the soldier who is narrating rested his head on the pillow and started to reminisce about "Sarah?" the girl in the picture of his head.. While he was reminiscing the place where he was at was attacked and he was highly injured....

    But in his mind the last person was Sarah.

    This is the way I understood it... I liked the story. I like yiur vocabulary though I had to look some up perhaps that impedes me to fully understand the story... But that would be my fault though... Not how you wrote it.

    The title is call requiem for a memory.

    I think the memory is that of a girl... So my guess is that the guy died and that's how he finally let the memory of the girl rest.

    I like it. I hope this help you. Im not a writer writer per se but I did enjoy the story because it pulled me in towards continuing reading it.

    • 11 years ago

      by Mr Universe

      Thanks for the read through and comment! It always helps to get feedback. When I wrote this story I was less interested in the details for the scene rather the emotion I wanted to convey.
      Yes, the protagonist is a soldier. What year it is, where he is, and who he is are all irrelevant. Who the soldiers are fighting is also irrelevant. The enemy disappeared for some reason a long time ago and these soldiers stand in defense should they return.
      The protagonist is a shell of a man. Everything he once cared for is lost. He survives simply to keep her memory alive. You see, his memory of her is the only thing that remains of her. He is the last thing of her that exists and he therefore feels he must protect it.
      At the end, when he is mortally wounded by the explosion that kills the commander, he sees himself absolved of this duty. He can finally lay down and rest. He doesn't think of going to heaven to see Sarah; he is truly empty, as he wants nothing more than oblivion.
      The last thing in his mind is Sarah's last words.
      The memory is not his memory of her, but rather the memory of him. He's done. He's finished, he's done all he can do and he's finally allowed to give up.
      He's basically saying, "Don't remember me."

      Anyway, thanks again for the read-through. Hope my explanation makes sense. I'll try to make those things more evident in future edits.

  • 11 years ago

    by Anonymous

    Ok nice read, good flow, short story. I like how you describe his death, it seems peaceful and tranquil with chaos all around him.

    I'm friends with a lot of marines and army guys who have gotten blown up and are missing limbs. This has a deeper meaning to me.

  • 11 years ago

    by Andrew Packard

    The imagery of war breaking out was awesome! I was predicting sirens and he would have to go off to battle, but not this, very exciting!