Comments : Unhappily Ever After

  • 7 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Be still my heart.... Wow... Saffie, you just wrote a write that makes me speechless.... breathtakingly beautiful...

  • 7 years ago

    by Amreen

    This is amazing.. I loved every bit of this. The picturization, the turn of events, the thoughts behind and the narration. This is a well-stated piece and flawless. The flow is apt and the usage of words here is perfect. This is by far, the best piece I read from you.
    Fantastic!!

  • 7 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    Saffs this was unbelievable , I love how you made it
    Your own little fairy tale but also kept it strong on
    Break ups and the effects of the child ,
    Even tho the princess idea is used exsesivly I don't
    Recall seeing it portrayed this way.

    One small thing , I think it's just me

    But this line ...

    broken like their marriage vows.

    I feel broken should be shattered

    I just feel it would give it that extra bit of power

    :) awesome

  • 7 years ago

    by Wild flower

    Seriously whats this? O.O
    You're brilliant, this poem is perfectly written, and heartfelt.
    Just amazing job Saffie:)
    Hope this goes to the front page.

  • 7 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    This is such an unique twist to a fairy tale. Instead of focusing on the love story of the King and Queen... or a love story focusing on the Princess finding true love... It is about the divorce of the mother and father and how it affects the princess.

    When a divorce happens, it's so hard on the child. One parent really is on each arm, trying to persuade them to live with them... or this and that. It's terrible and it breaks my heart that so many children have to endure that pain.

    This happening to her so young, it's already shattered her hopes of happily ever after...so sad. :(

    Another great write, Saffie.

  • 7 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Awww... this poem really touched my heart. It was like reading a story that felt very true.. and I was engaged from the start to the end.

    I love how you're addressing this person as "princess" as though she is someone close to you.. and the story you told, it's something so common, and many can relate to.. but I love how you told it as a story and related it to a fairytale.

    It broke my heart that the girl is only 6 and feels unloved because of her parents separation. I just felt tearful because at a young age she realizes fairytales aren't true and it probably will really affect her forever.

    Such a beautiful poem... Amazing!

  • 7 years ago

    by MyHalozChokinMe

    Saff!

    This poem is very sad and heart-wrenching BUT you did such an amazing job conveying the emotions and the tug-of-war that often occurs with children when their parents separate or divorce...

    I love the language you've used and especially love the way you basically scribed it in an old fairytale format..
    The imagery was astounding..
    "your delicate soul plucked part like a daisy"
    "The walls of your kingdom are crumbling down.."
    "Mounting atop your cotton white horse.."

    And the ironic contradiction at the end..
    "fairytale endings are make believe and so is happily ever after." Such a powerful finish...

    <3 Lovely Pen.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mams

    Thats a poem wow..!! speechless... no wrds to described beauty of ur poem.. outstanding...:)

  • 7 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This poem, was such a magical, and elegant take on the "Happily Ever After" tale.. However with a twist. Baby Rainbow, turned it around through the eyes of a child, in a broken home. The message of the love of a family being torn apart by divorce is tragic, but how she laced it into the metaphor of the fairy tale "gone wrong" was so touching, that I ended up reading this piece several times. Truly an emotional piece, full of heart and soul.. Beautiful and heartfelt!!!!!!!!!

  • 6 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    This is a very beautiful two sided fairytale. I love how it starts out as a "up to form" tale of a princess. Althoughthere is no true prince spoken of its great that you speak of a memory with him in it. They were once in true love bit now the princess is alone with her parents. I love how you show the family though riding off into the sunset. The painted orange sky shows a little bit of happiness inside. The princess is a sort of vague character here though. She can be anyone of us because she has a darker side to her. That is where the twist is.

    I love how you kinda had a "pause inbetween the stanza to show the story change to the darker side of reality. Any world xan fall apart even for an innocent girl. I do love how you say she is still beautiful even with all the things she has been through. I love the " real" scene with the parents too. There are a lot of break ups in this world and it effects everyone. Not every home has a fairytale ending and I love how you show it here. The twisted dark side of a princess. Although she is still very beautiful inside she is crying. 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by =The-Fairy-Mary-Poppins=

    Poor child and I bet there is a child out there in this world who has had this happen to them My heart goes to the children and the "princess" who went through this because parents in their goal to get rid of each other don't see the pain for a little child who gets scared up because of their bickering I have heard my parents bicker since young and I can't stand them that's how much I'm sick of them and their petty wars this piece touched something in me like all your poems do 5/5

    -Bet