Comments : Solace

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Nominated, without a doubt.

    Maple this poem is very touching and I can tell was something from your heart in that small place where you do not release the words very often, but Ia m so glad this time you did because it is a beautiful poem full of truth.

    I journey to the other side of the kitchen,
    a place where the dripping of coffee
    could drown out the thumping of my heartbeat.

    - I love the relation to the coffee dripping and your heart. This is very unique and I have to admit " very you" I like how it sets the poem off as if it is merely describing a typical day for you and the feeling that comes every morning inside of you.

    My achy limb can rest upon a stool, hidden from
    from view, and these thoughts are private,
    such as this time alone, uninterrupted solace.

    - the word from appears twice here by mistake so you need to take one away. This is where you let the reader know that this routine of solace you have is the only time that feels private enough to have these thoughts, knwoing that no one else will see or know about them, therefor it is ok and safe to feel them. THis is very sad as I know how much comfort is important to heal feelings but when people do not see the feelings they do not know to offer comfort.

    The days sprinkle like a dusted snow shower,
    hubbub of holiday cheer scurry around enormous
    tree bulbs and obnoxious blinking, I view from a window.

    - I took from this the loneliness feeling and perhaps invisible feeling, like evryone else is getting on with their lives while you are simply unoticed. Even people passing by do not stop to look ot notice because they are so wrapped up in the excitement of the coming holiday that they would rather not take notice of any one else's troubles.

    I can't understand the feelings of desperation
    that coils inside my little home, such as a viper
    waiting to strike, feasting on my little mobile paradise.

    - it is a very isolated feeling this, confusion and pain and yet you are alone with this. Feeling like someone is out to get you and they seek your pain. :(

    My angels are falling down from a tree that stands alone,
    and there is not enough tinsel to cover up the deterioration
    that weeps inside my head.

    - this is the most toucing part of the poem, it is so moving Maple because we all know how protective and caring you are so to get the feeling that you cannot protect these angels from falling is totally devastating. To watch destruction before you knowing it is out of your control, but still you carry on with your bravery.

    I meditate for Father Winter to consume the sorrow
    that fills my mug, cooling the heat that stings my lips,
    for I've had enough of heartbreak, and all I want is
    for this dreadful moment to pass,

    - This is where I wish I had a magic wand, or some magic pills that made all this horrible feeling go away. Like if we had switch to just turn it off. I can feel your pain through your words here and almost hear your heart crying through each letter.

    but for now, the lights still blink outside,
    and this moment of peace is all I have....

    - which means that smiling face will go back up to hide from the world the truth of the pain inside. Everyone else see the lights working so there is no need to worry. And you seek comfort in these little moments alone, although they give you time to feel what is inside which may not always be a good thing.

    very very powerful poem Maple and I thank you for writing and sharing it xx sending hugs xx

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Oh Andrea, the tone of this piece just broke my heart and the way you worded it, so creatively, I wish I could leave a deep comment, but Saffie already did that and there isn't anything I can say that hasn't been said.

    Love ya gorgeous...hugs
    x