Comments : Overdue Promise

  • 7 years ago

    by Mermaids Lullaby

    Wow! Azza you have truly become the poet i always knew you could be. Your words are original and belong to you and your thoughts alone. Some poets tend to write the same thing a thousand others have already stated, but your phrases bring new images and feelings alive, making you a unique poet in which no other compares too. 5/5

  • 7 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Friction of gravels
    that brush against my shoe,

    gravel that brushes

    rearranging notes from stone pieces,
    assembling a whimsical symphony;
    orchestrating warmth into my ear

    Very original wording: orchestrating warmth into your ear!

    An unexpected comfort,
    accompanying me through
    my solitary schlep into
    the morning blizzard.

    Love the tone..

    Snow flakes stained the streets,
    stain instead of stained

    decorated with diagonal footsteps;
    paving a trail of determination,
    pushing boundaries as I exhale
    miniature mist into the air.
    Nice images

    Layers of cloth battles
    the temperature foreign to my skin.

    This gives good detail of where you come from.


    Overseeing a smiley yellowish alphabet
    protruding from this mazy town;
    setting it as my focal point,
    leading towards my destination.
    (so near but yet so far)
    Though this phrase seems cliche,
    you'll understand what I mean
    when you have walked twelve thousand miles
    where my mud imprinted shoes have been.

    This person means very much to you, for you to walk so far to see her.

    Testimonial of drudgery
    written in dirt particles;
    reminiscing times of poverty;
    having emptiness constantly wagging
    war against my intestines.

    Poverty makes one humble, it makes for better people.

    Waging instead of wagging

    Paralyse by reality,

    sunken to the bed of my insecurities,
    unable to shut the lens
    of these dark puffy rings;
    Dreams of riding over
    celestial waves
    sat near to impossible.


    -But here I am-

    A thousand and ninety-five days later
    with a bag filled with faith,
    taking chances of reigniting
    an old flame in the rain...

    To have that number there, adds to the authenticity of your words. To have a bag filled with faith, is telling the tale of your focus.

    -One more step-

    Repeatedly reminding myself
    that I'll get closer...

    To bridge my promise of meeting you.

    I hope you met her!

    Well done, Azza:) I am sorry it took me so long to comment. As always, I want to do your work justice with an elaborate comment:)

    5/5 Ingrid