Comments : Between The Walls

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    "There is a space in my heart
    where I know you belong
    but yet I struggle to let you in. "

    Bittersweet beginning, which drew me in immediately. I love how the word choice is simple. Right now, I just feel like reading this kind of poems; not much thinking, and more of like 'recycling' emotions felt by the author whilst writing.
    One thing I noticed, arent but and yet synonymous? I think you could cancel out one of them, as the other becomes redundant.

    "I believe in your love,
    that it will cause me no harm
    and perhaps fix my broken wings. "

    Love the image of an angel I'm getting here. Angels are usually symbols of innocence, purity, love etc. though they've been used many times in poetry that it's become trite, I think you've made it yours here.

    "But there's a place in my mind
    that sends you away
    regardless of how I feel."

    There usually is conflict between the mind and thr heart. And sometimes it is better to feel first, before thinking. Overthinking usually is not good.

    "It put up walls around that space
    so my heart would never break
    nor experience love again. "

    Perhaps there is a struggle to trust within the persona. She might have been hurt before, hence the walls, the barriers.

    "And now I am trapped forever inside,
    between letting you in
    and having to let you go. "

    I really like this ending; it sort of allows the reader in too. And the title fits perfectly.
    Keep it up.

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Open your heart, be cautious, but be free...sometimes it can be hard to forget, and to move on and trust, but you need to give love a chance, and don't let one bad experience, pave your life and the choices you make.

    Nicely penned piece.

    Love and Hugs xx

  • 11 years ago

    by Autumn Leaves

    This is a sad and emotional piece of art, I like how you express your want and need for this individual. When it comes to love we are always afraid there's so much involve, our hearts, feelings, and emotions are easily hurt if the relationship don't succeed.

    It's never good to keep someone that you love at a distance because the separation often times afflict many wounds and regrets on you. I appreciate that you identify the main problems with relationship which is trust, whether there is a lack of trust within yourself or the person that you with, without trust a relationship is bound to deteriorate.

    Heartbreaking... 5/5