Comments : Soloist

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Meme,
    I really like this piece, its different, but it makes sense, its creative, and it has an inspiring feel to it, of strength, power, choice.

    The first stanza worked really well in opening the piece, it wasn't direct but it simply said this poem was about the choices you make, and whether you listen to your heart or your mind, really thought provoking opening.

    The second stanza had a little twist to it, but it made sense how you feel like the battle between the two was happening.
    Only little error is in the end of stanza two,

    "between an inevitably
    colliding trains.."

    I think the "an" doesn't work here, maybe without it would be better.

    Stanza three is really strong, and so true, how we feel that the road is always a struggle between what we know is right but what our heart wants.

    And that ending was so powerful, shows how we would prefer not to have the security of a stable mind, or a loving heart because the fight between them is so tough, so hard.

    I really like this piece, it was really simple but really strong.

    x

    • 11 years ago

      by Meme

      Thanks Tara :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    A reservation for
    two, for both my
    heart and my mind
    will need to pull this
    one through.

    - I like this opening, it is actually connecting the mind and heart to work together and showing that you need both and not just one nor the other to help you through this time/situation. I like the idea of reservation for them, what a unique thought.

    Not broken and
    distracted, neither
    beating and sane
    but stuck in the
    middle of a track
    between inevitably
    colliding trains..

    - this creates the impression in my mind that you know someting is going to come to a crash and you have no choice but to let it happen and just deal with it the best you can. It makes me think of insecurities and how we often do not let ourselves get too deep because we protect ourselves from the crash and here you are preparing your heart and your mind for what is coming up so that the effect is not as much of a shock.

    ..but I fear the crash
    into the unknown.

    - I really like this for two reasons;
    1. the worst thing I fear is the unknown, as do many I assume. It is not that something bad will happen, it is that we just have no idea what will happen and that becomes more scary than knowing something bad might happen.
    2. it made me again think of the insecurities and this line could also represent that the unkown might even be a good thing, like perhaps the chance you have taken might work out and that is unknown for you so still as scary that you might actually be involved in something that will not end in a crash and all you have been used to is crashes. Love both ideas and found them both to fit with the poem.

    Directions repel and
    I should be the one
    taking the first step
    forward because
    who you travel with
    might sometimes be
    more important than
    the destination itself.

    - this is very true and for me it is saying that we sometimes meet people or come across situations that teach us something although they may end up hurting us, it was meant to be for a reason. But we have to accept what we have learned on the way and that was the point all along - not where we could have ended up!

    So tonight .. tonight I
    choose to travel solo!

    - great way to end, I believe it is you choosing to remina alone rather than take the chance of ending up in the unknown of crashes. I also like how through the poem it is like you are deciding whether to be on the journey or not and thinking of the pros and cons and yet at the end you decide that if you travel alone then you are less likely to be hurt.

    Loved this one MeMe! WEll written.

    • 11 years ago

      by Meme

      Saff I cant thank you enough for your amazing comments. Love you :)

  • 11 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    I love ittt!! I guess I should've seen the ending coming from the title... but I was still pleasantly surprised... it was such a great poem to read. I love the idea of being solo, single, and dependent on yourself! And I like how you showed that in this poem.

    This was my favorite part:

    "but stuck in the
    middle of a track
    between inevitably
    colliding trains..

    ..but I fear the crash
    into the unknown."

    ^ I looove this part.. Your words are so perfectly chosen... the fear of crashing into the unknown is such a moving phrase.

    Amazing poem as always!! Well done Miss Soloist ;)

    • 11 years ago

      by Meme

      Hahaha, thanks!
      And I like the nickname :)