Comments : A Time for a United World [String Senryus]

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    We people build walls,
    each around their continent
    but built no bridges

    ^^ I think this line "we people.." needs a comma like "we, people, build walls" I can be wrong though.

    There are other parts where I think should be present tense instead of past. For instance "we forgot" I think it should be like "we forget.."

    Other than that I enjoyed the read and unfortunately those walls we have don't let us come out.

  • 11 years ago

    by Mohan

    We hate each other
    in the name of religion
    color and power
    ^^Yes, I agree this lines and I think the humanity is died but the fake humans are alive with the name of humans.we are hating each other with this three reasons.So this is also a world far between humans versus humanity. You shared the fact with your style.
    good poem my friend..