Comments : Cruelest Joke
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11 years ago
by Saerelune
I must say it takes careful reading to let this poem sink in, despite the great flow you've got in here. I think it may be the classical(?)/heavy wording. But that's a good thing, sometimes it's good to slow down while observing a piece of art, the pace of your poem allows me to do that. And I think that's exactly what I like about this poem, it has a classic format, rather classic wording, but it has a modern touch. Must be the straightforwardness. The only critique I have is something not very poetry-related, which is the grammar. Just a few small mistakes, if you're willing to hear about them, I can PM you. :) A much enjoyed read. I am usually not much a fan of rhyming poetry, but as of late I am starting to see the beauty of these poems too. I decided it was time to branch out and not only stick to reading freeverse. This poem proved that it was a right choice. Well done!
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11 years ago
Hello
Thank you for your comments. I realize that my grammar has much to be desired. I attribute that to many many "wasted" years. I have a quote on this website-I am the sum of all my parts.A life in the fast lane existance has surely done some damage to my mind.It has robbed me of some things but It has also provided me with an endless well of ideas and memories to write about. If I could do it all over I would of chose A different path but then again If the queen had balls she'd be the king.I live in a very unusal area: directly in the middle of Los Angeles skid row area.I am the only one left of a very large circle of folks who chose to burn the candle at both ends. Maybe someday I will sit down and correct all the mistakes but for now I try to get the ideas down.I think the rhyming comes from to many Dr. Seuss books in my childhood. Thanks again and have a great day! P.S.- As the huntress do you find what you are looking for? Some times the most elusive things would make me want them more.
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