Comments : Passionate Home... (mixed forms)

  • 6 years ago

    by Formidable Muse

    This is brilliant! Everything about it and the ideas to combine different forms. It's definitely impressive. I love the message as well as the Acrostic you chose.

    I would comment individuality on each stanza, but I don't trust my knowledge of many different forms yet. Especially the ones that include any type of rhyme set or the iambic thingy. The Etheree is fantastic, but that's all I got (:

    My only critique: In the Haiku, the final line "yielding to stings." is only 4 syllables whereas is should be 5.

    This is really lovely though!

  • 6 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    Thank you...

    Syllable counts kinda bug me, i'll have a look at it after work :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This is definitely one of your most impressive pieces - especially for someone who says they don't write forms well!

    They all worked well with each other and I love that you made the acrostic a sentence/statement rather than a word or two. It made it very interesting. Freedom is very clear in the poem and I think you done an amazing job. xx

  • 6 years ago

    by Rusheena

    I'll be honest, I have it a 5/5 before I even read it, sorry for being biased. But I couldn't help it, after I saw how many forms you used. Excellent job! Must've taken a lot of effort. The poem, itself, was beautiful; it made me want to go outside and pick flowers, haha.

    I'm not very familiar with many forms, so I can't really critique the ones, other than the haiku, tanka, and acrostic. In the fourth line of the third stanza, I think a comma would be more suitable than a semicolon.

    I would've nominated it, but I just nominated my last poem today. Dang it! Guess you'll just have to settle for a favorite ;)

    • 6 years ago

      by ah satan 666

      Lol thank you, it is thought and time I appreciate... and you've given me both.
      Happy to be in your favourites missy :D