WoooooW

Saffie , this was awesome you know what I love about this the poem was not as powerful as I thought untitled
That last line , I've never felt so normal reading then suddenly bang!!!

That is the best ending to a poem like this
I loved how you kept the power down all the way till
The end

Such an amazing write

Wow!!! This poem is amazing... I wasn't expecting this when I read the title. I was so captivated from the start of the poem.. it was like a sad story that I couldn't help but finish.

I like how you don't say that this person is 'dead' .. I like the choice of saying that you're sleeping. It's a better way than saying dead. I also like how you wrote about people gossiping around you, and that you can hear even though you're 'asleep'

I like how you added a quote at the end and that there is a moral to this poem...

Well done! Great poem!

Thank you both so much x

Its so sad how so many young ones end up leaving this world way to soon all because no one takes the time to see who they really are and just assume things by listening to other peoples gossip... these children feel like no one cares or loves them and figure whats the point in being here when no one wants me any way... this is a very emotional write with a powerful message Saffie

There's always a profound sadness in your pieces that makes me attached to them immediately. I love reading them, but sometimes I have to take them in small doses.

'Pointing out what could have been
but closing your eyes
to the truth that already was.'

-heartbreaking.

Thank you. I wrote this with the intentions of raising awareness for abuse. Thanks for the comments xxx