Comments : Let Me Go

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I love the way the scene wasn't overly vivid, and it left enough to the reader to make their own scene with what you had penned.

    This piece was emotional, but not overly sad, I can relate in a way and can grasp the poem well enough to say that sometimes, doing what we feel best is what we must do but to listen to others and see it from their view. I have so many times said to be "Don't do that to yourself" while I was, so I get exactly what this piece is saying, and from their view I get it.

    I enjoyed this piece, my only issue is that some of the lines are long and that makes it a bit uncomfortable on the eye when reading, otherwise, a nicely well penned piece

    x

    • 11 years ago

      by Rusheena

      Yeah, I know. I'm still working on that, right now. It looked fine on Word, but it looks very clunky here. I guess I'll have to shorten some stanzas. Thanks for the feedback, Tara!

  • 11 years ago

    by Mohan

    I like the second stanza.
    that make me feel sad.particularly in this line
    But you've proven yourself to be a liar.
    And I think the scenario of this poem is about our own perception.
    nice poem my friend.

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    We both know how this will end,
    so don't pretend to be my friend.
    I've watched you self-destruct for years, without saying a word.
    Now, I'd like that same courtesy, with no advice to be heard.

    - So here we get a feel for the atmosphere between these two people and I am sure many will relate to this. I was immediatly drawn to the first line because it can be put towards so many different relationships and how we fear it will end badly so we do not want them to get close.

    You promised you wouldn't try to stop me,
    whenever I decided to take the plunge or if need be.
    But you've proven yourself to be a liar,
    and that's a quality that true friends shouldn't require.

    - I like how you give a little added information but not much - it leaves my mind thinking of what could have went on between these two and what they lied about etc. Then it shows a bit of your own morals and standards of what you excpect from friendship.

    Not a prayer was uttered for all those times you showed off your wrists
    because you once told me, "there's no freedom, where God exists."
    But how can you turn around and tell me that he wants to save my soul,
    if you're still struggling and show no signs of self-control?

    - this is really interesting. It mentions God as seen from two different view points and this battle of each of them. I think the self control here relates to the self harming?

    You keep telling me you're better, now, but that's hard to believe,
    since you're befriending someone, who hides cuts under her sleeves.
    You've stood by me, through it all, but I have to do this on my own.
    It's time that I do something right, for once, and leave the world that's left me all alone.

    - This ending is more of betrayal, like you feel they have let you down and this is why you are deciding to walk away - perhaps because you do not want to go through it all anymore with them - or maybe you just dont want to be hurt again and feel like they will not change their ways.

    Again, interesting topic and inspiration that you choose. Well done