Slowly slithering like a serpent,ready
to unleash deadly lips of hypnosis.

^^ I get the imagery of being watched from afar and I know your going to appear but I can't help but stair in your direction.
I like the wording of "Unleash deadly lips of Hypnosis" I'm reading it as a metaphor for being teased/toyed with?

Once connected :symmetrical actions
release a deadly venom of deception.

^^ I'm reading this as visually connected and as if mirrored, I can't shake you from my focus... the paranoid addiction to stair is overwhelming but are you friend or foe?

Infected, you slowly start deteriorating
showing symptoms of terminal distraught.

^^ " Infected" good choice of words... paranoia spreads like an infectious venom... I don't know what you want from me and I start to panic!

Feeling naked; devoured in essence of
Satans cologne you sit there bathed by
ebony water
knowing,
he will strike again.

^^"Feeling Naked" metaphor for vulnerable?... striped of self confidence, you give in to your demons, as you know you've been here before.

I think the use of the snake gives the feel of a creepy surrounding whether it be a being actually heading in your direction or a thought creeping into a disturbed frame of mind.

I like twisted pieces lol

This piece Tony, the idea and the creativity is awesome,

but I think it's too wordy, and that disrupted the flow for me, however, the ending was brilliant.

The title, I believe "Traveller" has 2 l's, not one.

and the're a few over eager comma's, that were uneasy on the eye.

However, like I said, I love the idea and the creativity.

x

The main thing that stood out to me was the imagery. Your poem's running wild with it! My favorite parts are the second line and the entire last stanza:

"ready to unleash deadly lips of hypnosis."
I'm not sure what "lips of hypnosis symbolize," but I really like the way the it rolls of the tongue. You can really hear the "hiss or sisss" in it, even though you didn't add any onomatopoeia.

"Feeling naked; devoured in essence of
Satans cologne you sit there bathed by
ebony water
knowing,
he will strike again."

Such powerful and thought provoking images. I have so many different interpretations of it, but what I get from it the most is that the victim has given up and given the attacker permission to do with him/her what he will. I don't know if the attacker is male or female, but a male attacker comes to mind, no offense.

I don't quite get the colon placement in the second stanza, but I'm not very good with punctuation, anyway. There's a comma missing for "Satans", and the placement of the last stanza threw me off a bit. But other than that, I think you did a great job.

Wild .. Dark .. Powerful

Your imagination is beyond extreme in this piece, it gave me chills. You wrote a whole scene in a directors point of view, as if you were watching from afar the things that were happening.

I love it!
xxx

Very dangerous read... I like it!

Now this is a dark piece!!! I was glued to every single line! "Lips of hypnosis" ..."satans cologne" ... all kinds of wonderful imagery.

Amazing <3

Deep, Dark, and captivating this was!

I love this...truly I do, I feel like its this dark story that really speaks a creepy idea if you disect it a little bit.

One of evil, knowing they are doing wrong, knowing they are ran by the devil....yet they almost welcome it...

That is eery.

Wicked write. Well done.