Comments : Shades Of Abuse

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Saffie- wow!!!

    First, the format: with the colors and description it truly reads beautifully.. the message is bold and clear.. no need to go into that... a very deep write from you and one you need to let out, and you did it with grace and creativity.. very touching!

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    I agree with Maples 'wow'

    very powerful and very sad.
    You do not need to say much more than this, every word here hits home.

    great and brave write
    nominated

  • 11 years ago

    by Rusheena

    Very creative format. It draws you in, and it's a really makes you focus on each color and meaning even more. This once really touched, more so than the others that I read. You get to see first hand, indirectly, the damage that's been done to the speaker and how she is dealing with it. Again, I love that you "go there" and address such touchy subjects. I really admire that. Another great write, as always. Nominated and favorited :)

  • 11 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    <3

  • 11 years ago

    by Milo De Moray

    Great one Saffie! I felt every line of this poem as though the pain, the shame, the guilt of it were my own.

  • 11 years ago

    by Kathrynn

    That's an awesome poem.... sadly, i can relate, i'm so sorry you had to go through that. it sucks.

  • 11 years ago

    by Texas Battle

    This is what i call creativity,superB.

  • 11 years ago

    by Hellon

    Your title is such a drawcard I have to wonder why I never read this one before it hit the front page...my bad!

    First of all...I will say that the format is excellent for the subject you speak of. By having the colours separated from each thought relating to them it gives the reader a sence of starkness and makes one digest each one separately...very clever of you.

    I'm not sure if this is a real event in your life (Isincerely hope not but, I know it happens) but you have done a great job of bringing the emotions it would have caused out there.

    Sad subject but extremely well presented...very worthy of the front page :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    This is so personal, yet so relatable. You don't just let the readers see, but you also make them feel. It's heartbreaking.

    Well done!

  • 10 years ago

    by Burning Angel

    I got chills while reading this. it is a great write!!!! 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Meme

    Ohh the title was emotional by itself. "Shades of abuse" you have given abuse a certain character, as if it was a thing that had many different looks.
    The idea of using this palette of colors I found to be very smart. Instead of describing the different situations that happened to you; you created a palette of colors to show us the different aspects of an abuse. Gradually going from the color red to the color black just showed how deep and hurting this might have felt to you. Stating the color and then describing what reflected was very touching, I never knew abuse had those many colors but you made me realize that it really does. It has many colors and many forms but the abuser always fails to see those colors, its only the victim who has to deal with all of it. Deep and heartfelt piece.

  • 10 years ago

    by Darren

    I love the fact that Saffie has shown huge bravery to write a piece that touches on this subject.
    Whether this is from personal experience or not, this poem is a message to us all. This type of thing does go on and we need to be vigilant. I like how each stanza is broken up with a fairly innocent reference to a color then 'bang' the stanza is a slap in the face.
    Very powerful and very touching in places. A clever and brave write and worthy of 4 points.

  • 10 years ago

    by dalllllal

    I absolutely loved this!!!! So original heartbreaking but strong at the same time ... Amazing

  • 10 years ago

    by Natalie

    Wow this is powerful.

    I am an abuse victim myself and you had me feeling different sentiments in every word you wrote. I think this is the most powerful, thought-provoking, realistic abuse poem I have ever read. Just WOW.

    "Red:

    for the excruciating pain that you caused my young body
    to experience with every touch."

    Straight to the point with the first word. RED. I feel like the use of the word red automatically has you thinking about death, blood and pain so you certainly set the mood for the darkness and reality of your poem. "Excruciating, young, touch," were the words that stood out to me the most, those words in themselves tell the story and very vividly at that. Brilliant first lines.

    "Pink:

    for the innocence you proudly stole without permission
    when I was only eight years old."

    I love your use of words in this section. Pink and stolen innocence just creates such a painful picture. You make the reader imagine the scenery and its a painful one to bring to mind. Fantastic. To be able to make the reader put himself in someone else's shoes is a gift and you most certainly have it.

    I don't want to continue picking at your poem because I feel it doesn't need explanation as it is perfect just the way it is. I would just like to commend you on this beautiful piece and urge you to never stop writing as the world needs more writers like you.

    All the best :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Natalie

    Just a quick note to let you know that I reread your poem and its just as impacting as the first and second time I read it. Truly an amazing piece!

  • 10 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    Wow. I love the use of colours in poems. They can be used in so mant different ways. You used each one so well. Red- it can mean so many things but when you used it I think you did well. When people think of red they think of blood naturally. I think blood symbolizes the pain you go through in life and the struggle of life it self. Pink is definitely a soft colour and I loved the way you use it. Innocence is such a strong word as a child especially. When you don't yet know the world around you. Especially an eight year old to go through that. You are stronger than you know.

    A tainted childhood is what I know so well sadly. White is a sad colour really. You describe it well though. There is an absence of colour. But the way you use it is deeper than that. The way you compare white and your childhood in my mind is that you dont want to remember what happened. So you just white it out so to speak. Gray is a good colour for tears. You feel sad inside and you cry alone and feel helpless. I love how it connects to the title too. Gray is a shade and nothing more but its everything.

    I liked how you seperate the gray. Light and dark. I think dark gray is more impactful and also has a deeper meaning. Dark I think of sadness and sorrow which you have been through. Memories always seem to haunt us like ghosts. Bad ones especially. I actually loveee how you ended with black because it ties into the whole poem how you are feeling. You feel sad and depressed and black ties into all of that well. You live in a hole because your memories keep you there. This poem is just wow though. As I said the title is perfect and the colours are too. 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Iyla

    Speechless. It's a beautiful piece.

  • 10 years ago

    by Saturos

    The empathy in me reaches out for this poem, as if it were a person. I love the creativity you have expressed, simply by assigning colors to the poetic expression you so easily construe. Much sadness is to be felt in this poem, something I think every human identifies with. Thank you for sharing. 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by don

    Seriously impressive write,

    don

  • 10 years ago

    by Midnight Sky

    I liked how you use the different colors here very nicely done