First, the format: with the colors and description it truly reads beautifully.. the message is bold and clear.. no need to go into that... a very deep write from you and one you need to let out, and you did it with grace and creativity.. very touching!
Very creative format. It draws you in, and it's a really makes you focus on each color and meaning even more. This once really touched, more so than the others that I read. You get to see first hand, indirectly, the damage that's been done to the speaker and how she is dealing with it. Again, I love that you "go there" and address such touchy subjects. I really admire that. Another great write, as always. Nominated and favorited :)
Your title is such a drawcard I have to wonder why I never read this one before it hit the front page...my bad!
First of all...I will say that the format is excellent for the subject you speak of. By having the colours separated from each thought relating to them it gives the reader a sence of starkness and makes one digest each one separately...very clever of you.
I'm not sure if this is a real event in your life (Isincerely hope not but, I know it happens) but you have done a great job of bringing the emotions it would have caused out there.
Sad subject but extremely well presented...very worthy of the front page :)
Ohh the title was emotional by itself. "Shades of abuse" you have given abuse a certain character, as if it was a thing that had many different looks.
The idea of using this palette of colors I found to be very smart. Instead of describing the different situations that happened to you; you created a palette of colors to show us the different aspects of an abuse. Gradually going from the color red to the color black just showed how deep and hurting this might have felt to you. Stating the color and then describing what reflected was very touching, I never knew abuse had those many colors but you made me realize that it really does. It has many colors and many forms but the abuser always fails to see those colors, its only the victim who has to deal with all of it. Deep and heartfelt piece.
I love the fact that Saffie has shown huge bravery to write a piece that touches on this subject.
Whether this is from personal experience or not, this poem is a message to us all. This type of thing does go on and we need to be vigilant. I like how each stanza is broken up with a fairly innocent reference to a color then 'bang' the stanza is a slap in the face.
Very powerful and very touching in places. A clever and brave write and worthy of 4 points.
6 years ago
I absolutely loved this!!!! So original heartbreaking but strong at the same time ... Amazing
I am an abuse victim myself and you had me feeling different sentiments in every word you wrote. I think this is the most powerful, thought-provoking, realistic abuse poem I have ever read. Just WOW.
for the excruciating pain that you caused my young body
to experience with every touch."
Straight to the point with the first word. RED. I feel like the use of the word red automatically has you thinking about death, blood and pain so you certainly set the mood for the darkness and reality of your poem. "Excruciating, young, touch," were the words that stood out to me the most, those words in themselves tell the story and very vividly at that. Brilliant first lines.
for the innocence you proudly stole without permission
when I was only eight years old."
I love your use of words in this section. Pink and stolen innocence just creates such a painful picture. You make the reader imagine the scenery and its a painful one to bring to mind. Fantastic. To be able to make the reader put himself in someone else's shoes is a gift and you most certainly have it.
I don't want to continue picking at your poem because I feel it doesn't need explanation as it is perfect just the way it is. I would just like to commend you on this beautiful piece and urge you to never stop writing as the world needs more writers like you.
Just a quick note to let you know that I reread your poem and its just as impacting as the first and second time I read it. Truly an amazing piece!
6 years ago
Wow. I love the use of colours in poems. They can be used in so mant different ways. You used each one so well. Red- it can mean so many things but when you used it I think you did well. When people think of red they think of blood naturally. I think blood symbolizes the pain you go through in life and the struggle of life it self. Pink is definitely a soft colour and I loved the way you use it. Innocence is such a strong word as a child especially. When you don't yet know the world around you. Especially an eight year old to go through that. You are stronger than you know.
A tainted childhood is what I know so well sadly. White is a sad colour really. You describe it well though. There is an absence of colour. But the way you use it is deeper than that. The way you compare white and your childhood in my mind is that you dont want to remember what happened. So you just white it out so to speak. Gray is a good colour for tears. You feel sad inside and you cry alone and feel helpless. I love how it connects to the title too. Gray is a shade and nothing more but its everything.
I liked how you seperate the gray. Light and dark. I think dark gray is more impactful and also has a deeper meaning. Dark I think of sadness and sorrow which you have been through. Memories always seem to haunt us like ghosts. Bad ones especially. I actually loveee how you ended with black because it ties into the whole poem how you are feeling. You feel sad and depressed and black ties into all of that well. You live in a hole because your memories keep you there. This poem is just wow though. As I said the title is perfect and the colours are too. 5/5
The empathy in me reaches out for this poem, as if it were a person. I love the creativity you have expressed, simply by assigning colors to the poetic expression you so easily construe. Much sadness is to be felt in this poem, something I think every human identifies with. Thank you for sharing. 5/5