'solders' should be 'soldiers'

love the darkness and the images conjured when reading this.

'Inhaling dilapidated corpse fragments of the drained'

^
what a line, awesome

nominated

Nicely done.

Hells kiss plagues its way through every hurdle
until all that's left is a pile of decay.

- hells = Hell's to show the kiss belongs to hell.

As my opaque ruby in colour drop of life falls
- I would put a comma after opaque then after colour, to show your using this to describe the drop of life rather than have it as one whole sentence.

This poem was so powerful, your wording is very eye catching and it punches you with the tone of darkness and sorrow. I like the use of colours you used for your description of emotions, I think certain colours make us think of certain situations and emotions and you have matched them well through out.

The beginning of the poem is like Hell is more powerful than you and you feel it winning, the mention of disease and cancer is like the battle of when someone just gives up without even trying to fight it - I think this shows how fearful people can be of death.

But then in that last line you kind of twist the attitude and state that hell can never really win, it can never defeat you because it wants your spirit and that is the one thing it can never take - so you will always win.

Nice work :) xx

Oh how much I was waiting for something like this among the endless waves of garbage here :)
Insane enough for my tastes.

Natasha-

I really adore your style and this format.. its truly a deep and in depth read with delicious words that suck the reader in and I admire and love that!!

Oh the comforts of darkness... LOVE THIS!

Un-rolling parchment from a skeletal rod...
I glance upwards for the last time.

^ It's great how you open this poem with a sense that you are ready to accept your fate, I feel like their is an idea of what is going to happen and you are planning on embracing it.

The blue skies I once knew, are rapidly being replaced.

Smouldering reds bleed through the heavens...
deep purples linger,
shadowing mother nature's tallest soldiers...
dark knights now surround me.

^ I like the description of how it goes from blue skies to things going down hill very quickly. Oh and the wordplay here is awesome.

Rich oranges merge
into enticing fluorescent yellows,..
like liquid gold drizzling
into the heart of a volcano.

^Love the imagery in this stanza, as well as the one above it. It describes such a visual picture, taking me into the poem in a sense. Also the adjectives you use add to the awesomeness of this. (I apologize for my lame use of words, but I'm having issues finding the right words, earlier I was told I sound like a surfer hippie as my vocabulary is oddly restricted today)

Clouds blistering into thick black smog,
polluting sun rays
and any chance of moon light gracing my eyes.

^Hmm, this is an interesting stanza. I feel like I'm missing something as it refers to sun rays and moon light at the same time. I do like your use of words though.

Hell dams both day and night...
rotting humanity form every organ like cancer.
Hell's kiss plagues its way through every hurdle
until all that's left is a pile of decay.

^Was it your intention to spell "dams" as you did, for a clever play on words? I saw it, thinking it should be damns, but then wordplay came to mind, just thought to point it out in case it was a spelling error.

I think this is probably my favorite part of the entire poem (well favorite sentence), "Hell's kiss plagues its way through every hurdle until all that's left is a pile of decay." It's a really cool image, and I admire your use of the term Hell's kiss, it brings a lot to mind.

Inhaling dilapidated corpse fragments of the drained,
I feel a sense of peace...
My trade is with love, my soul for his life.

^ This is my favorite stanza. I love how you incorporate the "selling your soul to the devil" in relation to Mephistopheles. It adds an intensity to the poem as well as a different understanding.

As my opaque, ruby in colour, drop of life falls,
staining your demonic contract...
like distasteful wine served at the wrong temperature,

It is me that warns you...

" You may own my soul but you will never have my spirit!"

^A strong ending, I like it. Over all I really enjoyed this poem, I want to say that it's one of the best Dark poems I've ever read and dark are my favorite. Anything involving mythology and legends always fascinates me, especially seeing it portrayed in different lights. This is really well written.

... I also hope this never ever happens. :P

You do have a knack with dark poetry Natasha...this was really well penned...strong and powerful, dark and eerie, captivating and so awakening.

I don't think there is much I can say about this that hasn't been said...but really, you do smash these types of poems every time you write them.

I don't think I have read a dark poem of this strength before...
really good piece
x

Really good! I especially enjoyed the part about trading "my soul for his life," and the ending with its strong sense of defiance. 5/5

Very expressive free verse, Natasha, which utilizes amazing metaphorical phraseology and eloquent word choices to paint a vividly dark scene which could have been ripped straight out of Dante's Inferno itself.
Amazing!
~Dean Kuch