Comments : Rendezvous in Paris

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This poem of yours was different to me this time. I don't often find anything wrong in your poems, they always seem to flow so effortlessly. However, this time.. while I did love your poem, the quote was quite fitting, and lovely, though at times I feel like the words we were told to use were a bit forced, maybe it would have been different had I not known the words were meant to be used. Not sure. I hate giving criticism that could be taken wrong, hope you don't mind my opinion though :) I do love the mentioning of the certain cities, they are all so lovely in their own ways, I especially love Greece, the buildings and such are all so white and just gorgeous! London of course has always been known to be very romantic and the other ones mentioned were great as well.

    'The sun shivers underneath the stare'
    ^Lovely line, I love how you used 'shivers', it was perfect! Not something I hear all that often.

    'Her eyes depict the Arctic snow'
    ^Another great creative line that I loved!

    This is a good poem, just feel like the randomness of the words we were given to use may have thrown the poem off slightly, especially the drink you named, I feel like that was definitely forced so that it rhymed with reverie. I did love the usage of the words you came up with though, shivers, & rendezvous especially. There's much to love about this poem, even though there were parts that I felt were a bit forced to fit the challenge. Good job! :D