Comments : Here

  • 10 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I really like the whole concept of this poem, how the sunlight is like glass, transparent...as well as the love and sadness of missing him is incorporated.

    "like dragging boxes full of books
    and mementos and things.
    Like dragging full boxes
    over a rollicking floor."

    -This sounded awkward to me. I don't think you need 'like dragging full boxes' here twice. I would mesh them together and it would flow better. :)

    Nice piece!